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Stephanie Davis

Stephanie started an illegal newspaper at her middle school called The Underground—which was printed on copy paper stapled together—thus beginning her foray into the world of publishing. She went on to be editor of her high school newspaper, worked at The Red and Black (UGA's esteemed newspaper)...

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Guest blogger: Miss Young Thang

Margaret Watters

I am psycho crazed this week trying to get the July issue out and dealing with life in general, so I handed over my blog to my two young intern thangs, Ali and Margaret. They’re taking over for the next few days. 

Margaret wrote this hilarious letter to the high heel manufacturers of the world. Had to share:

Hell Heel Design Works
75 Humiliation Avenue at the Top of the Hill
New York, NY 10001

Dear High Heel Designer/ Incline Prohibitor,

I’m writing to inform you that I curse you every morning at approximately 10am. You could set a watch by my clenched fist exhales of exasperation.

I’d like to file a complaint, probably a little more unusual than you typically receive. I’m getting used to the wobble and insecurity I feel when walking across cobblestones. I can stiletto sprint with the best of them, climb stairs, walk in a straight line and provide the occasional flip or circus stunt. Color, shape, make don’t matter. Like a dog balancing a ball on its nose, I have my talent. I’m a trained high heel performer. But I can’t do inclines.

Every morning, at approximately 10am, without coffee but armed with ten years of ballet, I scurry down my driveway, exaggeratingly leaned back, praying for balance. Last week, I found myself on the pavement.
Twice.

I cannot master the incline. This doesn’t just happen in my driveway, it happens on walks to important meetings, nights on the town and large, photographed family functions.

The design flaw is apparent, your intention clear. This can’t be my fault. It’s yours. But you’ve had your fun; I’ve kept you (and my dog walking neighbors) entertained. I demand a redesign. I’d like a gravity- conscious redesign actually. I’d also like my dignity back, please.

Thank you for all you’ve done for my wardrobe and everything you will do in the future to prevent my scraped knees.

Regards,
Margaret

Disgruntled Customer Margaret G. Watters