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Alison Konrad

New to the Atlanta Hipster Mom scene as of June 2006, Alison Konrad is a Mom's Mom, Mom-About-Town kind of gal with an arsenal of diving-in-head-first experience in navigating the sometimes complicated World of Motherhood, and the trials and tribulations of juggling the identities of being a working...

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Playground Etiquette for Parents

These days the playground is a totally different ballgame than what I remember from my childhood.  I am not quite sure where I fit into the scenery, beyond being my son’s safety monitor/cheerleader – “yeah!” [Clap. Clap. Clap.] Surely, at some point a sociological study has been done on the topic of proper playground behavior.  Most every playground has a set of rules nailed to a post.  No hitting, No cursing, No glass bottles, No smoking, No gambling.  Okay, I made those up.  I haven’t actually read the rules. I’m not really a rule reader. I assume that I know what they are and that it is up to me to keep my child in check.  I simply try my best not to hover over the boy like a helicopter mom.  I want him to enjoy himself. Explore!

However, I would find a signpost of nifty guidelines for parents helpful.   I have so many questions.  For example, if I am pushing my child in a swing and there is another parent, grandparent – whomever – pushing their charge in a swing next to me-do we talk? Do we have-ta? Is it okay if I just focus on the boy?  Does our mother and son verbal exchange drive you nuts?  If I just acknowledge the other “pusher” with a smile, that’s got to be enough. I don’t consider myself to be terribly unfriendly, but sometimes, I don’t care where the other kid goes to school, or if he/she speaks five languages fluently.  Where can I pick up a copy of the latest swing set etiquette pamphlet?

Also, I could use some guidance at the sandbox.  Did another parent bring all of the toys with them?  Because I haven’t noticed an 18-wheeler parked nearby that would be big enough to carry all of them.  If my son picks up a shovel, do I reign over him immediately to put it down with a “that’s not yours”?  Or, is it okay for him to flip some sand around for a minute or two?

And…what are the official sliding board rules?  As much as I appreciate a pumpkin of a five-year-old’s moxie for thinking outside the box and insisting on walking up the slide, I’d rather see her wait in line to go down like the rest of the little soldiers waiting for her to get the heck out of the way.  This actually happened to “us” at the Zoo last weekend.  My husband had to help our son maneuver through the line to get to the top of the slide, otherwise the boy would have been pummeled.  I was posted at the bottom of the slide to make sure he didn’t go flying off of the end.  And of course, there’s a little girl walking up the slide the wrong way, just when my son gets to the top.  I didn’t know what to do or say?  I am looking up at my husband – wait!-  then looking at the little girl sort of dumbfounded by what to do next.  I figured she was big enough to know that although she had the leg power to position her sneakers into the walls of the slide for a sit – she would also remember the line from the top that she had just come from.  Tick tock tick tock.  She was squatting right in the middle of the slide mocking me with a Cheshire cat grin.  The unsightly mob formed behind my husband was beginning to become unruly – a lot of “MOVE!”s and “GO!”s  being yelled in my son’s general direction.  Could I say that to this little girl?  As much as I wanted to, I didn’t think I had enough snot on my sleeves to pull it off.   Where is her mother?, I thought.  I mustered a gentle “watch out – someone is about to slide down and I don’t want you to get hurt.”  Double secret code for “I don’t want you to crush my son when he runs into you.”  And, down she went.  Sheesh.  Saved.