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For the past couple of years, I’ve been either in film school or working freelance on indie and Hollywood films. I love that way of life—watching each day unfold, allowed to define its own pace and priorities. But, beginning with this new year, I’ve temporarily returned to the 9 to 5 grind. It’s the price I have to pay for spending more than my share of time in higher education and being a little too free with the credit cards.

Most weekends, I make it a point to make significant progress on one or more film projects. Whether it’s adding another several pages to a screenplay, tightening up a budget for a film in development, or even just watching a classic film I haven’t had a chance to catch yet, I try to accomplish SOMETHING in the two and a half days I’m given each week. (My office closes at one o’clock on Fridays.)

Yeah, this weekend that isn’t going to happen. Friday afternoon was cold and rainy. I drove straight home, landed on the couch and didn’t really leave it. Saturday I shopped and hung out with a friend. Today, after a morning at church, I’ll be making snacks and getting ready to watch the commercials. Not one word written. Not one number crunched. Not one location scouted. I know a lot of you out there are working moms who would kill to have two and half days of free time. You’re probably screaming at your computers telling me to shut up and enjoy it!

I’m not asking permission to have a relaxing weekend, nor do I feel guilty about it. But it does make me wonder about how we spend the time that’s supposed to be “ours.” If I let a few weekends go by like this one, it wouldn’t be long before a month went by. And then a year could pass with no discernible progress on the things I hold most important. And I wonder how many opportunities, in the form of time, pass us by in our lives.  In a short film I wrote and directed, the main character says, “Time is just time. It’s impossible to waste.” When I wrote that line, I believed it. But now... I wonder.

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